My Green Thumb, or lack there of...

At the beginning of the summer, Jenna brought home the little white flower plant that as a sprout was no bigger than the palm of her hand. Then, a friend of mine, Sher gave me the other plant (which for the life of me I can't recall what it is - which is dumb because it is a pretty common one). So, Jenna and I went out back and planted them. We planted them in a flower bed that gets hits by the grass sprinklers and that's it. Then we did nothing, not one dang thing. Just left them there in the dirt and what do you know?

Those things grew! I love that kind of gardening. Makes me wish I had gone out and gotten more and planted them EVERYWHERE! I haven't ever ventured into the world of annuals, but I think maybe next year, I will!

{Seriously, what are those things called (the pink one)? I think it will bug me and I won't be able to sleep tonight.}

A Conversation with Melissa

Have you ever noticed that most of my conversations with Melissa seem to be really thought provoking? Who would have thought that you learn more from your children than the other way around. Seems kind of backwards, but I guess that's how it's supposed to work. Or at least how it does in our house.

Melissa and I were discussing her "Personal Narrative" that she is supposed to be doing as a writing assignment in her class. She is a little frustrated because as she put it, "If I do it the way my teacher wants it done, then it just won't be me..."

{Insert pertenent information necessary to the story: Two weeks ago, she wrote a poem entitled "I Am" which if she gives me permission, at some point I will post the whole thing, but for now, I will tell you one line of it. She wrote, "I try to please everyone."}

It reminded me of a time in High School. I had this English teacher that simply put did not EVER share my point of view. If I wrote a paper on some subject using my own thoughts and ideas, she would return the paper chuck full of red ink, with a big "Re-write" on the top. The comments throughout the paper would say things like, "You didn't support this idea enough." or "What about {insert contradictory idea}?" She would thoroughly pick apart the paper because she didn't agree with it. So one time I went in to her class during lunch, and she told me all of her ideas of how my paper should be, what should be said, and I went home and rewrote it, and got an A. So, I learned my lesson. Each time she gave us a subject for our next paper, we would have a little discussion about it. I took very careful notes on what EXACTLY her position was on the subject and wrote a paper based off of that. Got an A everytime.

I am a people pleaser, just like Melissa.

What is sad about being a people pleaser, is I think that each time you cater to someone else in order to please them, I think you lose a little bit of yourself. I think you become what everyone else wants you to become instead of what you yourself wants. I think I am that way, but I don't want that for Melissa. I want her to be able to be her own person, and not cater to so many other people that she doesn't ever decide what SHE wants, or stand up for what SHE believes.

I know, shame on my teacher or any other teacher for that matter who isn't open to all thoughts and ideas. And accepting of ANY paper that is turned in as long as it is well written and done under the proper guidelines. And shame on the rest of us who aren't as open and accepting of others in their own thoughts and ideas. I'm just sayin'.

My form of AA...

Sometimes I get a bad wrap for having a clean house ALL THE TIME. I go to other people's houses and you know what, there houses are clean too. I think just because my house doesn't have a lot of decor people mistake that for being overly clean. However, I have a confession to make. Deep down, I really am a messy person. BIG TIME. Ask my parents, or my sister Michelle who had to share a room with me until my parents took pity on her and let her have her own room.



Growing up we had rules about keeping the house clean. "Everything has a place and everything in its place" was my parents motto. That one didn't work so well. My parents even tried the rule where I would get my curling iron taken away for a day if I left it out. I just wouldn't shower the next day so that they were still somewhat curled and just used A LOT of hairspray to achieve my "Bangs to Heaven" look. I even remember dreaming once that I had cleaned my ENTIRE room and was so shocked when I woke up the next morning and realized that it was still dirty. I used to even get grounded from watching TV if my room was a mess.



Then when Steve and I got married... You know how you would hang out with your married friends and they would all talk about how their husbands would leave their clothes all around the hamper, but not in it. Yeah, Steve's comment, "I wish she (meaning me) would even care to get it THAT close." Because, yeah, I'll admit, I didn't so much. And yes, I know how to clean, I know how to organize, my parents taught me well. I just didn't care to do it so much.



So what happened? How did I get from there to where I'm at today. {I am a pretty clean person} I'll tell you what happened, Spencer happened. Spencer went through a time in his life, where he seriously freaked out. All. The. Time. And not just freaked out, FREAKED OUT! As in scream and cry unconsolably if I wasn't around. It was like he didn't feel safe in his own home, if I wasn't around. And no, Steve wasn't good enough for Spencer. I couldn't even leave him with his own Dad. He needed to always know where I was.



Then one day, I noticed he was actually doing OK. And I said to him, "Spencer, you are doing really good today." And he said, "Yeah, Mom, the house is clean." Tell me that just doesn't make you want to cry. I did. So, at that moment, I realized that cleanliness, orderlyness, and routine, mattered for Spencer's well being. His "spiritual" well being. And so I changed.

When we were in our last house, a friend of mine introduced me to "The Fly Lady." She has a way of cleaning and organizing your house, that is only a little work everyday. Her philosophy wasn't that different from my parents growing up. Everything has a place and everything in its place. And I did her little program the last little while of living in our last house. Then we had to move in with Steve's parents because our house sold quickly(within a week of listing it, and they wanted us out by the end of the following week). We hurridly packed up and moved all our stuff to a storage unit and went to Steve's parent's basement. There wasn't anywhere to put our stuff, the basement was flooding every time it rained, carpet was being pulled up, the family room furniture was all shoved to the other side of the room. And even the room the kids were sleeping in flooded a bit and had to cram all the stuff onto one side, and that's when his problem kind of started. Then it just got worse when we moved here. I hadn't really gotten everything into any sort of an order. Not until we were having some friends over to see our new house and it kind of forced us to get things in more of an order. That's when Spencer made his revelation.



It was a pretty hard blow to my ego. I always fancied myself as a "clean person". But I wasn't. I knew how to clean, and I did it when I had to {read: when company was coming over}, but really, I am a messy person. That was the first step, admitting I had a problem. And then every day, making a conscious effort to change. And it is something that I work hard at, all the time. My tendency to to be messy. {Just look at my counter in the bathroom when I am done getting ready in the morning. Stuff everywhere. Not like my husband where the counter is perfectly cleared before, during and after he's done getting ready.} And everyday I try to overcome that tendency. And just like anyone else trying to change any behavior, sometimes I slip a little bit. {Like right now, my house is a bit messy}.

So, when someone comes into my house and makes a comment like, "Your house is so clean!" with the undertone of it being something disgusting. Yeah, my feelings get a little hurt. Or if my house tends to be messy, when someone sees it and says, "I can't believe your house is a mess!" As if I have just done something horribly wrong, yeah that stings a little too. I do slip every once in a while. But I won't slip for long because I notice a change in my kids' behavior when the house is a mess. It's kind of a crazy thing. They aren't as happy when the house is a mess. Same thing goes for routine. They are happier with a schedule. Life goes better when things are in order.

So, here you have it, "Hi, my name is Andrea and I am a messy person..." I'm just sayin'. {Now I think I'll go clean the kitchen... gotta jump back on the bandwagon so to speak!}

The Bare Chest Backlash

The Bare Chest Backlash

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We caught this on Nightline on Monday. And after looking for the video, I found that it originally aired in January. It's good news for people like Steve. What do you think? Bald or "man fur"?

ksl.com - Women with high testosterone take more money risks

ksl.com - Women with high testosterone take more money risks

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Testosterone and Money

So last night, the news has this story about how some study somewhere has shown that women with higher testosterone levels are more reckless with money. And basically that was it, {it was one of the reports that kind of ends the night broadcast, and so it was cut pretty short}. But it got me interested, so I looked up the study on line.

Basically Northwestern University noticed that in their MBA program, only 36% of females were choosing high-risk financial careers compared to 57% of males. There was already some research done in England that (supposedly-I'm a little skeptical as to just how you could prove this) higher levels of testosterone boosts short term success at finance. That study tested only male traders and found that those with higher levels of testosterone in the morning were more likely to make an unusually big profit that day. Having heard of that study before, the university decided to test their students and see if the same held for women. They found that women with higher levels of testosterone were almost seven times more likely to take risks than women with lower levels.

One other side note: The study also showed that married men and women had lower levels of testosterone than single individuals and were therefore, more risk averse than unmarried people.

So here I am, thinking when I was younger and unmarried, I was not very good with money. At least not like my sister who has ALWAYS been good at saving it and spending it wisely. When Steve and I got married, we went to the bank to consolidate our funds, and I had $25.47 to my name. {you would remember that number too if your husband had a lot more than you in his account} The bank lady asked before we closed my account if there were any outstanding checks that hadn't been cleared yet. "Ummmmm.... I don't think so." Followed by Steve's, "Don't you check?" And no, not really I didn't check, and we went ahead and closed the account only to have a 3 dollar and some change check bounce and have to pay the bank back that amount plus the $20 bounce fee which means I basically had a little over $2 to my name when we got married.

But you know, I worked really hard to save money and not spend it. I worked as a teacher for a couple of years after being married, I feel like I contributed to us being able to buy our first house and pay off all my own student loans.

So now, after hearing this report, I was thinking all along that I was actually learning to be good with my money and really budget, but according to this "study" they are saying that really, I just had high levels of testosterone in my body when I was single, and just as time has gone on, the levels have decreased, and so therefore I am just less reckless with my money? Yeah, whatever, I don't buy it. I think when it comes to anything that we are either good at or bad at, there is some personal effort in it. There is some amount of physical and mental discipline that comes into play. And it is NOT just all based on how much testosterone is in my body.

One thing that the study forgets to look at, is what are the levels of testosterone like in men who are not risky with money. Or, maybe they did and found that there were more men with higher levels of testosterone in their body who were NOT high-risk takers and it just didn't support their "findings" so they left it out. I have added the site for you to take a look at if you are interested in the study at all. I know that I am just rambling, but this story kind of seriously bugs me. I'm just sayin'.

Random stuff and then some tunes {a little late}

I missed Friday. I took the kids up to my Mom's house to get in one last fling before school started. We even stayed the night at my sister's Friday night and enjoyed hanging out and playing.

While my sister Michelle was visiting, I made pancakes for breakfast one morning, and she was surprised to find out that I made homemade syrup. I DON'T like homemade syrup, but Steve prefers the homemade syrup and so I would make it for him and it seemed like my kids liked it better too, so I thought it was kind of a waste to buy just me syrup. However, one day while my sister was at the store, she picked me up a bottle as a litte "gift" and it tasted so good! Not only that, but the next time I made pancakes, I put brown sugar on my pancakes followed by syrup. It is one of my ABSOLUTE favorite things to eat for breakfast. Thanks Michelle!

Last week when we were out shoe shopping for the kids we happened on an accident where an older model car had hit a newer model SUV into the first row of cars at a car dealership! Yeah, tell me that wouldn't suck! There were at least three of the brand spanking new cars that were affected. How would you like to call your insurance up and explain that one?

Another thing I witnessed last week was a Dad and son almost getting hit by a commuter train! There are two sets of tracks along the freeway nearby, and a father and son were walking and stopped to wait for a slow freight train to go by. Only the "genius" was waiting on the other set of tracks. Which I didn't think anything of it until I heard the horn of the commuter train. I looked up, the dad looked up, the kid looked up, and they FROZE! I was surprised though that the commuter train was able to stop so fast. Cause if not, yeah, that would have sucked.

We watched the new Hannah Montana movie this weekend. {It came out on DVD} I thought that there were some good entertaining parts on the show, but I can not stand those parts where the characters are faced with a predicament and then doing such crazy and obnoxious things to try and get out of the predicament. When all they had to do was be honest in the first place and it would have been so much better and easier. There was a little too much of that in the movie, that I considered it obnoxious.

I have had a hard time lately coming up with things to make for dinner. It seems like we are eating the same things over and over again. Even my kids seem bored by the food I make. I swear every meal I hear something like, "Not this again!" Not only that, but when I go in the kitchen to start dinner, I feel like I just made that meal last night. It's not the case, but it sure feels like it. Where do you come up with your ideas?

Well, that's it. Now for the tunes (since it's back to school, I did a playlist full of sings that remind me of my school years).

1. Please Don't Go Girl - NKOTB {I went to their concert my freshman year of high school}
2. Istanbul (Not Constantinople - They Might Be Giants
3. Bicycle Race - Queen
4. West End Girls - Pet Shop Boys
5. Don't You (Forget about me) - Simple Minds {This was actually our senior song}
6. Right Stuff - NKOTB
7. We are the Champions - Queen
8. We Will Rock You - Queen
9. Oh L'Amour - Erasure
10. Summertime - NKOTB

Bonus: A little Respect - Erasure