Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Injustice of it all!

I bet I hear the words, "It's just not fair!" at least ten times everyday. And no matter how many times I say, "Life's not fair." My kids just don't seem to get it. I try so hard to purposefully NOT be fair. My hope is that at some point it will sink in, but it hasn't yet.

The more I think about it though, EVERYTHING we do screams that life is fair. Everyone has to have an equal number of tries or attempts at things. They all get the same amount of time on tests as everyone else. If there's a treat or snack, everyone gets the same amount. I've even heard of baseball leagues where every kid gets one at bat EACH inning before the inning can be over even it that means 9 outs.

I'm just as bad... Even in my attempts to not be fair. When we dish treat there are four equal pieces cut. Each kid gets the same number of dish days, chores are equally split, each kid gets their "turn" in the good seat in the car. Their bedtime is all the same. If I give Jenna a piece of candy, they all get a piece of candy. Practice time on their musical instrument is 30 min. The list can go on and on. About the only thing I do that isn't fair is their punishments, what works for one doesn't work for any other (because that would be too convenient if it did).

In the grander scheme of things (I'm gonna get a little 'deep' here) life really isn't fair. I know of people who have the worst problems (in my mind) and have to suffer through so many trials, (that make mine pale in comparison) while others get a seemingly "easy" life. I know that in this life, we truly need to be "tested" and I realize that for each person that means something entirely different.

So the question is, if we are to be a "good" parent, shouldn't we be following the same kind of example? The answer is yes, but that is certainly easier said than done. Just sayin'.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I Love Index Cards

I buy them in bulk, they ARE the best thing since Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Dark Chocolate and Diet Coke. {Well... maybe not the Diet Coke, but they are a close second} They have become the answer to all my prayers and problems.

I use them for everything...

  • A book mark - I even can jot down the page that I was last on if one of my kids thinks it would be funny to pull it out.

  • A chore chart - I have taken up giving my kids each a chore list on an index card everyday when they come home from school. I list on them what needs to happen before they play with friends, activities they have that day so they (and I) don't forget and even stuff that needs to be done before bed. Which is great, so that when they ask if they can play with friends, or play on the computer, or watch TV, I can say, "Is your card done yet?". I am no longer the bad guy. The fun thing for them too, is that they like crossing things off as they get them done.

  • A reminder - I have a card for me too of the things that have to be done that day. That way, I can constantly remind myself of what is happening that day and hopefully not forget anything. It also helps me prioritize what has to be done.

  • A scratch piece of paper - I keep several in my purse. They are great for writing down things like prices for comparisons when you are out shopping, or an address when you are out and someone tells you where something is.

  • And the all important toothpick - and don't say gross! It has come in handy when I have been out at a restaurant with Jayden and he gets something stuck in his teeth. He is not a patient kid, and when something is stuck, he wants it out NOW!

Like I said, I LOVE index cards! Just sayin'.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Simple Things

Yesterday I found myself saying, "I just ran 6 miles." As in I only ran 6, no big deal. And compared to the miles I've been clocking to get ready for the marathon in a couple of weeks, that doesn't seem like much. But the reality of it is, that is more miles than most people clock in a week, if not a whole month. And somewhere along the line, I've lost sight that it is a huge accomplishment to even run the 6 miles while most people were still at home in bed.

It's got me thinking, that as a society we are losing sight. Somewhere in the hubbub of activities, we are losing the vision that even little accomplishments are still accomplishments, and not to be taken lightly, or given any less worth than they are. Kids are so highly scheduled in so many things, that they are given the time to just enjoy the little things either. The other day, Melissa had a little extra time, so she went out in the yard, and took pictures of the blooming trees, and thought it was the best thing ever.

My sister in law posted pictures of her daughter that she took because it was a nice spring day. It got me thinking of when was the last time I did something just because the weather was nice. Really I can't tell you. It's a sad commentary in my life. I have become so hugely focused on things that the little things haven't mattered as much, and the little things are becoming so non-existent.

I have decided to quit teaching piano. I think I just need to take more time and focus on my kids. The other day I was thinking about Spencer. He isn't a very motivated kid, and he has a hard time taking some things seriously. I tried to think of all the ways that I could teach him how to take more pride in his work, and do a good job, and most of all, WANT to do a good thorough job, and the answer that came to me, is I need to teach by example. I am so caught up in doing so many things, and spread so thin right now, that I am not doing a good thorough job at things either.

So the 23rd of May is my final recital, and then that's it, I'm done. Also, my marathon is on the 21st. My plan is to finish the marathon, cross it off my bucket list and never do it again. Once is good enough for me. I will probably still do half marathons because I actually enjoy those. But the full, not so much {a different post for a different time I think}.

I have one more year before Jayden starts Kindergarten, and I am excited to think that this next year I will be able to spend more quality time with him before he is sent to the wolves, I mean public school. I am excited to be able to focus on other things with my kids also. The past couple of years, I have still had piano lessons in the summer, and I think that it will be nice this summer to plan projects and have the time and energy and motivation to do them. And it's true that piano lessons didn't take up that much time of my day in the summer, but there were some days that it just got in the way of things that my kids needed or wanted to do.

So, I have to say I am excited to finish up old endeavors and take up a new focus in my life. And hopefully help my kids to understand that there is beauty and excitement in the simple things. Just sayin'.

Monday, April 25, 2011

What I learned from Easter

Before I forget, Happy Easter Everyone! We had a pretty great day, and that is despite the fact that I got hardly any sleep the night before. Here's what Easter taught me this year...

  • Easter is just as exciting as Christmas to our kids. Apparently, next year before the kids go to bed we need to have the "You can't come out of your rooms until after 7" talk. I had kids (minus Melissa, she now values her sleep too much) coming in and out of my room beginning at 4 in the morning.

  • Melissa will make a better Mom than me. After me getting after each kid who came in to wake me up, Melissa got out of bed, had them all get their scriptures and then had them all take turns reading in their scriptures about the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, the REAL reason we celebrate Easter. Like I said, a better mom than me...

  • Jenna is already making her list of things she will NOT do like me. At 10:30 Saturday night, Jenna came in and said, "Mom, can I give you a suggestion as to how to do Easter better?" After listening to her suggestion, I said, "We'll see." {A great response for a parent!} To which she said, "Well, I'm going to do it when I'm a mom."

  • The Easter Bunny and Santa are the same person and are thus treated the same. Jenna told me before she went to bed that she wanted to leave out a treat for me because I'm the Easter Bunny, and I told her that was very nice, but I didn't need any treats. However, when I went out to the Family Room to start hiding the treats, I found a note from Jenna that said, "Dear Easter Bunny, I would like a Barbie for Easter. Thanks, Jenna" . Apparently, the Easter Bunny gets lists too.

  • Lastly, Jenna is the best at finding Easter Candy. She found EVERY single hard thing I hid. I left some out in the open for Jayden, and some hidden in the obvious spaces, but thought I would do some hard ones for Melissa and Spencer, but it was Jenna that found them all. In fact when there were two peices left to be found, and the kids couldn't find them, we sent the kids back to the bedrooms for Steve and I to look in places we hid them. Only we couldn't find them either. When the kids came back out, they started looking again, and it was Jenna that found them all. Go figure.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Seven Year Itch

The other day, I told Steve I wanted to move. We've been in our house for a little over six years now, and I'm kinda tired of some of the people that we live by. I'm ready to meet some new people. They talk about the seven year itch for marriages, and I'm wondering if it applies to friends as well. Does it take a little over six years to REALLY get to know someone, and then can you only hack it for year before you just have to get out?

I have been in a couple of social situations recently where I realized that I can't stand hanging around some people anymore. When I first met them, we had some things in common, but then it seems like we have been having the same conversations about the same things for the last six years, and now, it's kind of boring. And I've realized that some of my friendships are all one sided. Them always asking for my help, and never willing to give anything in return. And then there are those who will only help you if there's something in it for them. I can really do without those kind of people you know.

Don't get me wrong, there are some people I live by that I absolutely LOVE to hang out with. We have actual, meaningful conversations, different ones every time too. However if we were to move, I'd still hang out with them. And there are still some that I would love to get to know better. But what do you do with the ones you're sick of? Could it be that if you stuck it out long enough, you could find out why you were friends in the first place? Is it even worth it? Some are really draining you know... needy, judgemental, flakey...

Well I guess one thing is for sure, if you've made it as my friend after 7 years, you're my friend for life! Just sayin'.

{As I side note, I really won't ever move, unless I absolutely HAVE to - I really like my house.}

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


I am in timeout in my room...

This is what I was going to post on Facebook, but then thought twice because I am friends with some of her friends on Facebook, and it just would not be a good "mom" thing to do.

PMS is going to kill me... (Not mine, but not really hers either {yet - or at least hopefully not anytime soon because that would really kill me}).

Just sayin'.

I NEED to Blog!

I haven't blogged in quite a while... and my mind is muddled. I have found, that blogging is a necessity for me. It is therapeutic and helps me keep my mind clear. Especially when I am blogging because I want to and not because I have to.

So why haven't I blogged lately? Mostly because of Jayden and partly because life is busy. Jayden has this thing with playing on the computer. He loves it! And of course the MINUTE I get on the computer to do anything, he is BEGGING to play. I can usually hold him off while I check my email and facebook, but we all know he is not that patient, so the blogging just gets put on the back burner. Now that we are finally wireless, and can have more than one computer online, I don't have to worry about that anymore. However, now Jayden doesn't seem to care much about the computer when I'm on, and he's playing toys more. Go figure!

And life? It's just busy. It just seems like I always have things that need to be done, and they aren't even the important things. The important things always seem to get shoved to the side and aren't getting the proper amount of attention. I have decided it is time for a priority check.

Melissa is in this Study Skills class. She had an assignment recently about setting priorities and getting things done in the proper order. And while I am completely against the fact that this assignment was for parents and students to do together (because really, that's just what I need is homework for me that Melissa's grade depends on) I actually got something out of the assignment. I am making lists. I make a list of all the things that need to be done throughout my day. Then I go back to the list and write down timelines for when they need to be done. Then set deadlines for each thing, and organize the list according to their level of importance. Works pretty good in getting stuff done. Doesn't solve the problem of me sometimes forgetting to put things on the list... but one problem at a time right?

It's too bad that I haven't been blogging either because I still think about what I would blog if I could, and you've missed some good stuff, that is all lost in my mind somewhere. Bummer for you! Hopefully some of it will come back to me and you'll be able to catch it the second time around.

One of the things on my mind lately, is the fact that I am in kind of an identity crisis. I'm trying to figure out if I am becoming the person I want to become, or the kind of person that I think everyone else wants me to become. There's a difference you know. Only I am trying to figure out what part of me is me and what part is just an act. How do you know? I am determined to find out. Just sayin'.