Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A love/hate relationship with the toilet

I am potty training Jayden. I know, believe me, it took long and hard for me to deside to take the plunge. And while I have just completed Day 2, I am ready to quit. I did not think that I would potty train him until he BEGGED me to do it. After dealing with some of his older siblings (hows that for anonymity?) I swore I wasn't going to jump into it. However, ALL the signs are there. He knows when he needs to go potty, he knows I KNOW he needs to go potty. He does the whole dance thing and then it dawns on him, he has a diaper, so he looks at me, smiles, and then you can hear him going in his diaper. He's dry for long periods of time. He wakes up most mornings dry (because he will usually go potty before he goes to bed at night only because he is trying to delay going to bed). See? All signs, say potty train right? Not to mention, there is a little bit of outside pressure mostly for me because he is now in the 3 year old class at church and he is the ONLY one not potty trained. Of course he is 6 months younger than all the rest, but still. I have put it off as long as I have because he just doesn't want to take the time to go. That lazy bum (pun 100% intended), doesn't he realize that it would take less time to go potty on the toilet than it does to change his diaper every time (which he hates having that done too)?

I refuse to ask Jayden if he needs to go potty. Spencer (anonymity just went out the window...) would stand there and do his little potty dance and then say, "Mom!" followed by me saying "What?" and then him continuing his potty dance and saying, "Mom!" several times until finally I would say, "Spencer do you need to go potty?" Where he would then say "Yes!" and run into the bathroom. He just had this idea somewhere in his mind that I needed to give him permission to go potty. So as to avoid that this time, I figure I will keep my mouth shut and allow his (Jayden's) accidents to do the teaching. I don't know if that's the right approach or not, but that's what I'm trying. I think with each kid I have tried so many different things, who knows what's right. And he's my last, so I can hack it right?

So back to the subject, it is not MY love/hate relationship I am referring to with the toilet, it's my kids. Why is it that when kids are first learning to go potty on the toilet, they don't want to go on it, but then when you finally coax them to sit on it, they want to stay for hours? And they want you to WAIT with them. But they don't want to sit there and do nothing, they want something to do. I don't let them though, because that is just gross to think of mixing potty germs and toys (yes, I am a mean Mom), so I sit and listen to them whine about wanting something until they finally give up and get off the toilet only to have an accident two minutes later.

Then today, my kindergartner I realize can not get in and get out fast enough. Half of the time, I am sending her back in to first flush the toilet, then to wash her hands, then to completely dry her hands, and then to hang the towel back up on the rack. And it seems like EVERYTIME, we are going through the ritual.

Of course, kids find themselves staying in the bathroom longer than usual when they are supposed to be doing something else like doing the dishes or cleaning their room, or are supposed to be practicing their piano for 30 minutes, and yet spend 15 of that in the bathroom. {I finally had to change it to they have to practice each song a certain number of times before they are done practicing}

Then there is my oldest who is doing who knows what in the bathroom FOREVER. Seriously, I think she is just enjoying the breather, which I have to admit is a good place to do it. I find myself doing that as well. Sometimes I am having a "time-out' while several of my kids are either standing outside of the bathroom, banging on the door, or after being properly threatened, are sitting on my bed waiting for me to come out.

Like I said, a love/hate relationship, I'm just sayin'. (And yes, I would love it more if Jayden would use it - I'm just sayin' again.)


Lhone said...

Yeah, I'm getting ready to potty train BOTH of mine. I would PAY someone to do it for me. I hope all goes well with Jayden, but I have to admit I am totally jealous that this is your last to train. Good luck.

Dean and Cindy Hatch said...

I feel your pain. My youngest is 28 and I still remember the trauma of it all. At the time I thought potty training was the WORST part of being a mother. Almost 3 decades later, my perspective hasn't changed. Good luck, Mom