Thursday, September 18, 2008

Does High School ever end?

Why is it that we are "adults" and can't get past high school? We still have our little group of friends (hard to join and hard to quit), there is definately an "in-crowd", some people are still considered nerds, there's the smart people, the athletic ones, and the music people (HFACers we called them in College - you know, the people at BYU who were music majors and ALWAYS singing in public) and to top it all off we still have the economic status issue to deal with.

I look at our kids, and it is totally rubbing off on them. In fact the other day my four year old and her friend were making a "club" and on their entrance sign, they wanted it to say that no "weird" people were allowed. And she said, (and I am quoting) "You know, witches, ogres and fat people!" Yep, just like that she already thinks that fat people are weird.

We have "clubs" of our own, book groups, play groups for our kids, people we exercise with, bowling leagues, and PTA stuff. Our kids see us "grouping" and they follow suit. Of course we make ourselves feel better by saying anyone is welcome, but are they? Do people feel like they can just join if they want? Maybe you are actually a very inviting person, but do your kids know that? Do they see you invite someone who may not seem to fit in as much?

I am ranting to myself just as much because that's me I just described, I know that I am so excited to "belong" somewhere and be included, but do I make others feel that way? I don't know. At the same time, I prefer the smaller groups where you can actually carry on a conversation and feel like you can get a word in edge-wise.

So, we have these groups and we have our "clubs" that we fit in, and honestly I don't find any problem with that, but does it affect our kids? Do they feel like they can be friends with kids whose parents aren't friends of their parents?

I know that there are some people that I would like to be friends with, but don't think that they would want to be friends with me. I hear of them doing things together and wish I could too. I look at some of the "athletic people" and wish that I were considered "athletic" too. I don't dress as well as the "in-crowd" and I am certainly not an interior decorator, and my house isn't as cute. But why do I care? Why am I bothered? This isn't High School anymore, or is it? Does it ever end? And am I affecting the way my kids' "high school" experience will be? I don't know, I'm just sayin'.


Motherboard said...


I don't think it ever ends. Its irritating. Some people do grow up--er I mean out of it... others don't.

You said EVERYTHING I have been thinking lately! Great post!

Motherboard said...

ps. wanna join my club? :>

I'm just sayin'...

Megan B said...

I absolutely agree. I have had long talks with the husband about this very same subject and why it will probably never end. No matter how hard we try, there is always someone who may not feel included. On one hand, we all need friends and people we can rely on but on the other how do we choose those friends? Does Heaven just place them in our path for us to find? Are we just naturally "attracted" to certain peeps? Honestly I don't have the answer and try as hard as I can to teach my kids to be nice to everyone and do the same. I am sure with my "LOUD" personality that I have offended some from time to time but what gives me comfort is knowing that the Lord knows our hearts and desires. That's all we can ask. Geez! Good Post Andrea. Got me thinking...after I was laughing my head off about my son "Yuck Yuck!"

Sher said...

Thanks for coming out and saying where we are all thinking!
I have very similar thoughts ALL THE TIME.
Glad I'm not the only one.

Lhone said...

I love that song about "High school never ends". I see it in our neighborhood. But, a lot of our issues is more age. Young moms have a hard time getting to know older women because they have these little kids that you can't take to people's houses or I feel like they wouldn't want to be with my kids because they are loud and obnoxious. so, its hard to be friends with everyone. Plus, there are people that are in my neighborhood that I don't want to be friends with. And yes...I can say in this "say anything chat room" that I don't want to be their friend because they are such a project. I have so much that needs done everyday that I don't have the time to go out of my way to be friends with someone. If it happens than great. But, I really don't want to beg people to be my friend when I don't want friends. And why don't I want friends? It's complicated. They get offended, and you have to do EVERYTHING with them or they think you're a snob, and you have to say the right things, or do the right things, or dress your kids the right way. Its not worth it. Needless to say, people probably think I'm a snob.