My form of AA...

Sometimes I get a bad wrap for having a clean house ALL THE TIME. I go to other people's houses and you know what, there houses are clean too. I think just because my house doesn't have a lot of decor people mistake that for being overly clean. However, I have a confession to make. Deep down, I really am a messy person. BIG TIME. Ask my parents, or my sister Michelle who had to share a room with me until my parents took pity on her and let her have her own room.



Growing up we had rules about keeping the house clean. "Everything has a place and everything in its place" was my parents motto. That one didn't work so well. My parents even tried the rule where I would get my curling iron taken away for a day if I left it out. I just wouldn't shower the next day so that they were still somewhat curled and just used A LOT of hairspray to achieve my "Bangs to Heaven" look. I even remember dreaming once that I had cleaned my ENTIRE room and was so shocked when I woke up the next morning and realized that it was still dirty. I used to even get grounded from watching TV if my room was a mess.



Then when Steve and I got married... You know how you would hang out with your married friends and they would all talk about how their husbands would leave their clothes all around the hamper, but not in it. Yeah, Steve's comment, "I wish she (meaning me) would even care to get it THAT close." Because, yeah, I'll admit, I didn't so much. And yes, I know how to clean, I know how to organize, my parents taught me well. I just didn't care to do it so much.



So what happened? How did I get from there to where I'm at today. {I am a pretty clean person} I'll tell you what happened, Spencer happened. Spencer went through a time in his life, where he seriously freaked out. All. The. Time. And not just freaked out, FREAKED OUT! As in scream and cry unconsolably if I wasn't around. It was like he didn't feel safe in his own home, if I wasn't around. And no, Steve wasn't good enough for Spencer. I couldn't even leave him with his own Dad. He needed to always know where I was.



Then one day, I noticed he was actually doing OK. And I said to him, "Spencer, you are doing really good today." And he said, "Yeah, Mom, the house is clean." Tell me that just doesn't make you want to cry. I did. So, at that moment, I realized that cleanliness, orderlyness, and routine, mattered for Spencer's well being. His "spiritual" well being. And so I changed.

When we were in our last house, a friend of mine introduced me to "The Fly Lady." She has a way of cleaning and organizing your house, that is only a little work everyday. Her philosophy wasn't that different from my parents growing up. Everything has a place and everything in its place. And I did her little program the last little while of living in our last house. Then we had to move in with Steve's parents because our house sold quickly(within a week of listing it, and they wanted us out by the end of the following week). We hurridly packed up and moved all our stuff to a storage unit and went to Steve's parent's basement. There wasn't anywhere to put our stuff, the basement was flooding every time it rained, carpet was being pulled up, the family room furniture was all shoved to the other side of the room. And even the room the kids were sleeping in flooded a bit and had to cram all the stuff onto one side, and that's when his problem kind of started. Then it just got worse when we moved here. I hadn't really gotten everything into any sort of an order. Not until we were having some friends over to see our new house and it kind of forced us to get things in more of an order. That's when Spencer made his revelation.



It was a pretty hard blow to my ego. I always fancied myself as a "clean person". But I wasn't. I knew how to clean, and I did it when I had to {read: when company was coming over}, but really, I am a messy person. That was the first step, admitting I had a problem. And then every day, making a conscious effort to change. And it is something that I work hard at, all the time. My tendency to to be messy. {Just look at my counter in the bathroom when I am done getting ready in the morning. Stuff everywhere. Not like my husband where the counter is perfectly cleared before, during and after he's done getting ready.} And everyday I try to overcome that tendency. And just like anyone else trying to change any behavior, sometimes I slip a little bit. {Like right now, my house is a bit messy}.

So, when someone comes into my house and makes a comment like, "Your house is so clean!" with the undertone of it being something disgusting. Yeah, my feelings get a little hurt. Or if my house tends to be messy, when someone sees it and says, "I can't believe your house is a mess!" As if I have just done something horribly wrong, yeah that stings a little too. I do slip every once in a while. But I won't slip for long because I notice a change in my kids' behavior when the house is a mess. It's kind of a crazy thing. They aren't as happy when the house is a mess. Same thing goes for routine. They are happier with a schedule. Life goes better when things are in order.

So, here you have it, "Hi, my name is Andrea and I am a messy person..." I'm just sayin'. {Now I think I'll go clean the kitchen... gotta jump back on the bandwagon so to speak!}