Thursday, January 7, 2010

:(

I gave up...


Clearly I am not ready...

Either that, or the thought of being a work widow from now until March (or more like April) finds me with very little patience these days. I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Jayden's perceptive


Yesterday Jayden came up to me and said, "Melissa's bossy and responsible."


"Yes, I know that, but how do YOU know that?"


"Apples"


Aha, have you ever played the Apples to Apples game? Well aparently Melissa, Spencer and Jenna were playing and Jayden was watching. The way the game goes, without going into too much detail, is you collect these cards that have adjectives on them and in the end, you read them all and the kids say that they are supposed to describe you. Well when the game was over, Melissa read through her slew and the only two that Jayden caught were bossy and responsible. And yep, describes her to a T!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A love/hate relationship with the toilet

I am potty training Jayden. I know, believe me, it took long and hard for me to deside to take the plunge. And while I have just completed Day 2, I am ready to quit. I did not think that I would potty train him until he BEGGED me to do it. After dealing with some of his older siblings (hows that for anonymity?) I swore I wasn't going to jump into it. However, ALL the signs are there. He knows when he needs to go potty, he knows I KNOW he needs to go potty. He does the whole dance thing and then it dawns on him, he has a diaper, so he looks at me, smiles, and then you can hear him going in his diaper. He's dry for long periods of time. He wakes up most mornings dry (because he will usually go potty before he goes to bed at night only because he is trying to delay going to bed). See? All signs, say potty train right? Not to mention, there is a little bit of outside pressure mostly for me because he is now in the 3 year old class at church and he is the ONLY one not potty trained. Of course he is 6 months younger than all the rest, but still. I have put it off as long as I have because he just doesn't want to take the time to go. That lazy bum (pun 100% intended), doesn't he realize that it would take less time to go potty on the toilet than it does to change his diaper every time (which he hates having that done too)?

I refuse to ask Jayden if he needs to go potty. Spencer (anonymity just went out the window...) would stand there and do his little potty dance and then say, "Mom!" followed by me saying "What?" and then him continuing his potty dance and saying, "Mom!" several times until finally I would say, "Spencer do you need to go potty?" Where he would then say "Yes!" and run into the bathroom. He just had this idea somewhere in his mind that I needed to give him permission to go potty. So as to avoid that this time, I figure I will keep my mouth shut and allow his (Jayden's) accidents to do the teaching. I don't know if that's the right approach or not, but that's what I'm trying. I think with each kid I have tried so many different things, who knows what's right. And he's my last, so I can hack it right?

So back to the subject, it is not MY love/hate relationship I am referring to with the toilet, it's my kids. Why is it that when kids are first learning to go potty on the toilet, they don't want to go on it, but then when you finally coax them to sit on it, they want to stay for hours? And they want you to WAIT with them. But they don't want to sit there and do nothing, they want something to do. I don't let them though, because that is just gross to think of mixing potty germs and toys (yes, I am a mean Mom), so I sit and listen to them whine about wanting something until they finally give up and get off the toilet only to have an accident two minutes later.

Then today, my kindergartner I realize can not get in and get out fast enough. Half of the time, I am sending her back in to first flush the toilet, then to wash her hands, then to completely dry her hands, and then to hang the towel back up on the rack. And it seems like EVERYTIME, we are going through the ritual.

Of course, kids find themselves staying in the bathroom longer than usual when they are supposed to be doing something else like doing the dishes or cleaning their room, or are supposed to be practicing their piano for 30 minutes, and yet spend 15 of that in the bathroom. {I finally had to change it to they have to practice each song a certain number of times before they are done practicing}

Then there is my oldest who is doing who knows what in the bathroom FOREVER. Seriously, I think she is just enjoying the breather, which I have to admit is a good place to do it. I find myself doing that as well. Sometimes I am having a "time-out' while several of my kids are either standing outside of the bathroom, banging on the door, or after being properly threatened, are sitting on my bed waiting for me to come out.

Like I said, a love/hate relationship, I'm just sayin'. (And yes, I would love it more if Jayden would use it - I'm just sayin' again.)

Monday, January 4, 2010

My newfound ADD (attention deficit disorder)

For the past little while I have been the 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency in our Ward. Roughly translated for those "non-LDS" readers: I was incharge of the younger children's group (age 18 mo. to 12 yrs.) at church for our neighborhood. Recently I was released. Now I teach the 14 year old Sunday School class. What a difference!

The way primary is set up, there is the nursery. That is the class/baby-sitting {yes, I said baby sitting, cause basically that is what they are doing} that is done for the kids that are 18 mo. up to 3 yr. old. Then, the other kids are broken up into two groups Junior and Senior Primary. The younger kids are junior and the older are senior. Within those groups, each kid is a part of a class, that is based on their age. During the 2nd and 3rd hours of church, the kids take turns going to Sharing time and then to class or vice versa. Following me?

Sharing time is setup where there is some singing time and then a lesson. Once a month, I was in charge of doing the lesson, and the other three weeks, I would help manage the other things. So, I was always going. Either helping out with kids needing to go to the bathroom, or making sure each of the classes had teachers, sometimes I was in the nursery helping out, sometimes I played the piano for the singing time... You get the picture. Rarely was I ever just sitting there.

So, now, during the 2nd hour, I teach the 14 year olds, which I LOVE. So I am constantly talking, moving, and presenting my lesson. Then during the 3rd hour, I am expected to go to Relief Society (the class for grown up women). And don't get me wrong, the lessons are usually really great as was this Sunday's (at least the parts I heard). I just could not sit still. After 5 years of being in Primary, I found that I have ADD. To have to sit there quietly for an hour was complete torture. And yes, I probably could have made comments to keep me somewhat occupied, but honestly I would have had to make a comment every three minutes to keep me engaged in the lesson. And I think the other ladies would have gotten sick of me (not to mention, I don't really have that good of things to say). AND, that means I would have had to have been paying attention in the first place to know what questions were being asked. I just about had to get up and leave "pretending" to go to the bathroom with 15 minutes remaining because I couldn't stand it anymore. However, at that point, she (the teacher) pulled out a children's book to read as a part of the lesson. That was actually pretty great, she would read a page and then show us the picture. Just enough to keep me stimulated to listening.

That got me thinking, Relief Society should be more like Primary. Why couldn't we break into a rousing rendition of "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" when the teacher sees that she's losing her class from boredom? Or pull out some cardstock fishes with little magnets on them that we get to then use a pole with a magnet hanging on it to "fish" for the questions that she is going to pose for the class? Or why don't they use for visual aids so that we have something to look at when they are talking? And by visual aids, I don't mean word strips, cause Relief Society is already very good at that, I mean pictures, something that is a little more exciting to look at. Or my all-time favorite, learn about the good things to do on Sunday by playing Family Feud.

My one saving grace, besides the children's story, this Sunday was that the lesson ended 5 minutes early. I think that I am going to have to follow Sher's example and make a reverence chair for myself. Whenever her little boy acted up on Sunday during Primary, she would have him sit in a "reverence" chair for so many minutes (kind of like time out) and fold his arms and sit quietly. {Which is a GREAT idea - for serious - and it worked for him, he was pretty good at sitting still in Primary.} That way, I can train myself once again to sit quietly during church, or use my parents old form of "punishment" for not sitting quietly in church and tell myself I don't get any dessert on Sunday after dinner. Wouldn't that be a bummer? OR they could just take my suggestions and liven Relief Society up, I'm just sayin'.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Green Thumb, or lack there of...

At the beginning of the summer, Jenna brought home the little white flower plant that as a sprout was no bigger than the palm of her hand. Then, a friend of mine, Sher gave me the other plant (which for the life of me I can't recall what it is - which is dumb because it is a pretty common one). So, Jenna and I went out back and planted them. We planted them in a flower bed that gets hits by the grass sprinklers and that's it. Then we did nothing, not one dang thing. Just left them there in the dirt and what do you know?


Those things grew! I love that kind of gardening. Makes me wish I had gone out and gotten more and planted them EVERYWHERE! I haven't ever ventured into the world of annuals, but I think maybe next year, I will!
{Seriously, what are those things called (the pink one)? I think it will bug me and I won't be able to sleep tonight.}

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Conversation with Melissa

Have you ever noticed that most of my conversations with Melissa seem to be really thought provoking? Who would have thought that you learn more from your children than the other way around. Seems kind of backwards, but I guess that's how it's supposed to work. Or at least how it does in our house.

Melissa and I were discussing her "Personal Narrative" that she is supposed to be doing as a writing assignment in her class. She is a little frustrated because as she put it, "If I do it the way my teacher wants it done, then it just won't be me..."

{Insert pertenent information necessary to the story: Two weeks ago, she wrote a poem entitled "I Am" which if she gives me permission, at some point I will post the whole thing, but for now, I will tell you one line of it. She wrote, "I try to please everyone."}

It reminded me of a time in High School. I had this English teacher that simply put did not EVER share my point of view. If I wrote a paper on some subject using my own thoughts and ideas, she would return the paper chuck full of red ink, with a big "Re-write" on the top. The comments throughout the paper would say things like, "You didn't support this idea enough." or "What about {insert contradictory idea}?" She would thoroughly pick apart the paper because she didn't agree with it. So one time I went in to her class during lunch, and she told me all of her ideas of how my paper should be, what should be said, and I went home and rewrote it, and got an A. So, I learned my lesson. Each time she gave us a subject for our next paper, we would have a little discussion about it. I took very careful notes on what EXACTLY her position was on the subject and wrote a paper based off of that. Got an A everytime.

I am a people pleaser, just like Melissa.

What is sad about being a people pleaser, is I think that each time you cater to someone else in order to please them, I think you lose a little bit of yourself. I think you become what everyone else wants you to become instead of what you yourself wants. I think I am that way, but I don't want that for Melissa. I want her to be able to be her own person, and not cater to so many other people that she doesn't ever decide what SHE wants, or stand up for what SHE believes.

I know, shame on my teacher or any other teacher for that matter who isn't open to all thoughts and ideas. And accepting of ANY paper that is turned in as long as it is well written and done under the proper guidelines. And shame on the rest of us who aren't as open and accepting of others in their own thoughts and ideas. I'm just sayin'.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

My form of AA...

Sometimes I get a bad wrap for having a clean house ALL THE TIME. I go to other people's houses and you know what, there houses are clean too. I think just because my house doesn't have a lot of decor people mistake that for being overly clean. However, I have a confession to make. Deep down, I really am a messy person. BIG TIME. Ask my parents, or my sister Michelle who had to share a room with me until my parents took pity on her and let her have her own room.



Growing up we had rules about keeping the house clean. "Everything has a place and everything in its place" was my parents motto. That one didn't work so well. My parents even tried the rule where I would get my curling iron taken away for a day if I left it out. I just wouldn't shower the next day so that they were still somewhat curled and just used A LOT of hairspray to achieve my "Bangs to Heaven" look. I even remember dreaming once that I had cleaned my ENTIRE room and was so shocked when I woke up the next morning and realized that it was still dirty. I used to even get grounded from watching TV if my room was a mess.



Then when Steve and I got married... You know how you would hang out with your married friends and they would all talk about how their husbands would leave their clothes all around the hamper, but not in it. Yeah, Steve's comment, "I wish she (meaning me) would even care to get it THAT close." Because, yeah, I'll admit, I didn't so much. And yes, I know how to clean, I know how to organize, my parents taught me well. I just didn't care to do it so much.



So what happened? How did I get from there to where I'm at today. {I am a pretty clean person} I'll tell you what happened, Spencer happened. Spencer went through a time in his life, where he seriously freaked out. All. The. Time. And not just freaked out, FREAKED OUT! As in scream and cry unconsolably if I wasn't around. It was like he didn't feel safe in his own home, if I wasn't around. And no, Steve wasn't good enough for Spencer. I couldn't even leave him with his own Dad. He needed to always know where I was.



Then one day, I noticed he was actually doing OK. And I said to him, "Spencer, you are doing really good today." And he said, "Yeah, Mom, the house is clean." Tell me that just doesn't make you want to cry. I did. So, at that moment, I realized that cleanliness, orderlyness, and routine, mattered for Spencer's well being. His "spiritual" well being. And so I changed.

When we were in our last house, a friend of mine introduced me to "The Fly Lady." She has a way of cleaning and organizing your house, that is only a little work everyday. Her philosophy wasn't that different from my parents growing up. Everything has a place and everything in its place. And I did her little program the last little while of living in our last house. Then we had to move in with Steve's parents because our house sold quickly(within a week of listing it, and they wanted us out by the end of the following week). We hurridly packed up and moved all our stuff to a storage unit and went to Steve's parent's basement. There wasn't anywhere to put our stuff, the basement was flooding every time it rained, carpet was being pulled up, the family room furniture was all shoved to the other side of the room. And even the room the kids were sleeping in flooded a bit and had to cram all the stuff onto one side, and that's when his problem kind of started. Then it just got worse when we moved here. I hadn't really gotten everything into any sort of an order. Not until we were having some friends over to see our new house and it kind of forced us to get things in more of an order. That's when Spencer made his revelation.



It was a pretty hard blow to my ego. I always fancied myself as a "clean person". But I wasn't. I knew how to clean, and I did it when I had to {read: when company was coming over}, but really, I am a messy person. That was the first step, admitting I had a problem. And then every day, making a conscious effort to change. And it is something that I work hard at, all the time. My tendency to to be messy. {Just look at my counter in the bathroom when I am done getting ready in the morning. Stuff everywhere. Not like my husband where the counter is perfectly cleared before, during and after he's done getting ready.} And everyday I try to overcome that tendency. And just like anyone else trying to change any behavior, sometimes I slip a little bit. {Like right now, my house is a bit messy}.

So, when someone comes into my house and makes a comment like, "Your house is so clean!" with the undertone of it being something disgusting. Yeah, my feelings get a little hurt. Or if my house tends to be messy, when someone sees it and says, "I can't believe your house is a mess!" As if I have just done something horribly wrong, yeah that stings a little too. I do slip every once in a while. But I won't slip for long because I notice a change in my kids' behavior when the house is a mess. It's kind of a crazy thing. They aren't as happy when the house is a mess. Same thing goes for routine. They are happier with a schedule. Life goes better when things are in order.

So, here you have it, "Hi, my name is Andrea and I am a messy person..." I'm just sayin'. {Now I think I'll go clean the kitchen... gotta jump back on the bandwagon so to speak!}