The whole conversation though, made me think that I am not ready for the Boy-drama just yet. After all, she's got 5 more years until she can date. I jsut remember though myself that there was more drama before I could actually date than there was when I could date.
So, here is my words of wisdom on boys that I passed on to Melissa which having said she'll probably completely ignore/forget once the occassion arises, but oh well...
- Whenever you like a boy, don't act differently. So many girls seem to get all silly and stupid and lower their intelligence just because they think that's what they like, but when it comes down to it, the want a smart girl right?
- Never change your opinion just because the boy thinks differently. Why do girls do that (me included, I was guilty of this in Jr. high/High school)? I remember one guy (cause I didn't consider them boys then) who said something totally rediculous, and I went along with the whole thing because I didn't want him to think that I didn't think like him. But I didn't and that's what makes relationships really great right, is being able to discuss the things that you differ on. If we were the same it would be boring.
- Don't assume because a boy is talking and being really friendly with your friend that he likes her and not you because we all know that it is easier to be friendly with the friend than the person you actually like because what if the girl doesn't like you back and rejects you? The friend is safer. Now this one has always just been a theory of mine, but I REALLY think I am right on this one.
- This one I didn't share with her yet, for obvious reasons... she's not there yet, but sometime I will. That is, when you are dating (to find a husband) if you get bored of someone, move on. Cause when you meet the one, you don't really ever get bored. You maybe settle into a routine, but it's not like you actually get tired of being around the person. I have known many people that wasted time just being bored with someone, but not breaking up because they didn't actually hate the person. Why can't you break up nicely and agree that it just isn't going anywhere and still be friends?
So what do you think? Would you add any or take any off the list. Because I am certainly new at this and don't profess to have all the answers or maybe even the right ones. I'm just sayin'.
4 comments:
I would also say to not worry about being the one holding hands and kissing and stuff, just be friends with lots of guys. The ones that have the boyfriend are the ones that are bored because they can't go out and do stuff with other people, they can only be with the one guy. I think high school was more fun because I didn't have a boyfriend. then tell her...good luck. It all sucks, until you find your man. Drama, drama, drama.
To go along with what Lisa said, I think that it is so important to have friends that are boys before you go off to college...just to get practice interacting guys...valuable life skill!
And this is cliche and you kind of covered it anyways, but you really need to be yourself and be RELAXED. I think a little nervousness is okay at first, but really, you should feel comfortable with the person. If you find yourself struggling to relate and you feel like you can't relax and be who you are, then it's probably not a good fit, and move on!
And AMEN to moving on if you get bored! I've known a few people that have stayed in relationships just because nothing is really wrong, but neither one of them are really into it. And then you've wasted all this time and energy for nothing.
Great points Andrea!
AUGH! Boy advice to Melissa?! She's too YOUNG! I can't take it, that's too soon. No advice for Melissa until she's older! She shouldn't care about those things yet. I have heard kids are getting older sooner, but I don't want to believe it.
I would also say this: Your self esteem should NEVER be dependent on whether or not you have a boyfriend. You should be happy and secure in yourself, regardless of whether or not you have a boyfriend.
make sense?
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