Wednesday, January 14, 2009

What makes a good friend?

The other day, Melissa proved her point... maybe she is smarter than me afterall.

One of her friends came up to her and told her that the boys were making a list of girls that were fat and Melissa was first on the list. I know, will she ever get a break? Or is this what it's going to be like for the next several years? You've seen her though, she's by no means 'fat'. She's got somewhat of a tummy, but if you look at pictures of me when I was her age, so did I until I hit puberty. And honestly, it isn't really a tummy, but I'm being real here.

So, after informing me of this incident, Melissa said that she would have rathered that her friend not tell her at all. She would have prefered to just stay in the dark. Well, this got me thinking. I started to think about what would be the good friend thing to do. Do you be honest with your friend or not? And I debated this in my mind for quite a while.

Later when I was tuking Melissa in bed, I told her what I had been thinking about. That I was debating about what the good friend thing to do in that situation would be. Do you be honest with your friend, or protect their feelings? So I asked her, "What do you think?"

Her reply? A good friend would have stood up to the boys. A good friend would have told them that it wasn't true and to knock it off. Good answer, and you know what Melissa, maybe you're right. Maybe (just maybe) you are smarter than your Mom. I'm just sayin'.


Heather said...

Wow. Why are kids so mean and hurtful, especially when it's not true? Melissa is NOT fat!! And, she's probably right, a good friend would have stood up to the boys.
But, in other situations, do you be honest or just let it go? When I was in junior high my "best" friend told me that if she had legs as skinny as mine, she would be embarrassed to wear shorts. I think she honestly thought she was doing me a favor, but it took me about 12 years (that's right, just recently)before I would wear shorts again (besides when I had to, like playing tennis) and I'm still really self-concious about it.
I've always thought that a good friend doesn't say things like that, and spares your feelings unless not telling you would cause harm to come to you. But, I think Melissa's right. A good friend also stands up for you. Smart girl.

Lhone said...

You know that friend was "in love" with one of the boys not to stand up to them, and she is probably self-conscious and insecure herself or she would have stood up to them. If Melissa is fat, I'm a tub-o-lard. So rediculous. It makes me nervous for my own kids in school. What will it be like for them when they are older?

Judy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Judy said...

Kids are cruel! I know I've told you this before, but my worst times with friends/school were 5-6th grade. So... tell Melissa it gets better! Not that that is a consolation, that's hard.

Judy said...

I'm the one that deleted the comment... it was the same one, I pushed post twice (by accident) and it did!

Sher said...

Sounds like she's off to a great start. If I'd heard something like this at her age it would have completely debilitated me.
You must be a great mom to teach her self confidence.
Boys can be so mean. I wish I could tell KJ to just stay away from them completely til she's 25.

Motherboard said...

Are you kidding me?? What a bunch of retards. And, clearly, they need glasses!

I'm just sayin'!