On Sunday Steve and I took Melissa to the Draper Temple Dedication. It was the first time she has ever had an opportunity to go. And while I was very excited for her to be able to go, I myself was not so enthused. In fact I even offered to just have Steve go and take her while I stayed home with the other three.
Because, let's face it, they are really rather boring. I even found myself nodding off several times. Mostly during the prayer. I will admit that yes, there were two moments where the speakers said something interesting and I took note, but overall, I think I could have done without. When it was announced that there would be a song and then a closing prayer, a kid behind us said to his Dad, "Is it really almost over?" When the Dad said that it was, his reply was exactly mine..."YES!"
SO, it begs me to ask, what is wrong with me? I have a Mom and two sisters that seem to REALLY like that kind of stuff. And I heard other people on the way out talking about how great and wonderful it was. Really? Or are you just saying that? What is it that makes it so that we both go into the same experience and come out with two totally different responses?
And you can't tell me that it is because I went in with the wrong attitude/spirit because really, I tried. I did it for Melissa. We talked before hand about what would happen, and I even suggested to her that she pray about it before we left, and I did too. Yet, when all was said and done, it was like, "OK, that was nice..." {Melissa's response was she was glad that she went, it was kind of neat, but kind of a little boring}
So again, I ask you what's wrong with me? I rarely feel the spirit in those grand opportunities. For me, it is more in the day in and day out kind of stuff. It's the small things that happen that really seem to catch my attention. Like the time when I was potty training Spencer (which was an ordeal in and of itself) and just when I was about to stick a pull up on him because I couldn't handle one more accident, and the thought pops into my mind that I should give it one more shot. And the next time, we had success! Or even just finding an extra 20 minutes somewhere in my day to take a little time out for myself in an otherwise VERY busy day. And sometimes it is during a crisis that I feel it the most. Just the calm thought that everything would be OK.
The more I think about it though, maybe nothing is wrong with me. Maybe I'm doing just fine. I'm just sayin'.
5 comments:
I actually know what you mean. I was glad I went, but at the same time I think I find more of an impact of the spirit when it is the small and personal moments where my life changes. I think any time you are around the spirit it is a good thing, but I don't think that defines your testimony. I do like to "stand in holy places" so I want to find those places as often as I can. Its kind of like the temple though. Sometimes I just can't keep my eyes open. It doesn't mean its not the absolute best place to be, its just my own frailties, but I would rather try than not.
For what it's worth. . . the thought that of all the 'meetings' in the world that might ever be important enough that God, himself, might actually be in attendance at (as opposed to simply 'attending in spirit' or 'sending the Holy Spirit'). . . this was probably one of them, and that I got to attend there with him (presumably). . . .well, that's the thought that motivated me.
Along the same lines--the idea that we were in actuality singing and shouting "Hosana" to our Lord along side hosts of unseen angels who were in literal attendance at the same meeting. . . It's a pretty awe-inspiring thought and feeling if you can appreciate it for the moment it is. Works for me.
It's usually those 2 little things that make you take note that makes it worth it for me...maybe I just need it more.
You know, I'm just the same way. I often think, how can I get mad at TJ for not being reverant in primary when I find it so hard to do myself?
I rarely have spiritual moments like that.
And sometime I wonder if I deserve to make it ultimately to the same place as other people whose lives are obviously by far more spiritual than mine.
And at least you went.
I ditched.
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